🌈Cheryl Left Me Unsupervised. This Is What Happened
Nine months ago, a new customer placed an order at Ophelia’s Bazaar. I am only now prepared to discuss the consequences.
Hey there friend! I’m Ophelia🌈
It all started last summer…
I didn’t mean to go on a pilgrimage. I didn’t plan on building an oracle deck. I didn’t intend on writing a bunch of stories about my adventures.
In fact, I was in the middle of one of my dramatic existential reorganizations—you know, where you decide to burn down everything you’ve ever believed in and alphabetize your trauma by flavor—when I received a very large, very custom order.
Which, in hindsight, should have been my first red flag.
Orders are not supposed to include coordinates that rearrange themselves and a note that says, “Bring snacks.”
So, there I was filling this order, when I was:
dragon-napped by a teleportation muffin made with time crumbles and regret berries;
Accidentally inducted into a sisterhood of wise sages; and
Forcibly handed a suspicious number of symbolic cards by the universe
And now-
I have a stack of stories I cannot un-know.
A handful of truths that will not leave me alone.
And a very strong suspicion that this was never about the destination at all.
But here we are, nine months later, and I have birthed an oracle deck into the world and published the first book about my adventures.
Who knew this was where I’d end up when Cheryl went off gallivanting in Ireland with a suspiciously poetic goat named Fenris?
The book is called Dragon-Napped by a Teleportation Muffin, because apparently “Everything Became Extremely Complicated While Cheryl Was Out of the Country” was considered too long.
It contains the beginning of my journey, the first Wise Sister I met, the stories she trusted us to carry, and the first two cards the universe deposited into my claws without explanation or a return policy.
You can find the print and ebook versions here:
Or if you want to ruin the surprise and peak inside at some of the pages, I guess you can look at the sample booklet I gave out to my friends at the Sisterhood Soiree…
And if you would rather begin by rifling through all 36 pieces of wisdom and asking them alarming personal questions, the Wisdom of the Sisterhood Oracle Deck is here:
Next week, I’ll tell you how this whole thing began—with a brand-new customer and the largest order Ophelia’s Bazaar had ever received.
For approximately eleven glorious minutes, I thought it was the best thing that had ever happened to my business.
Then I noticed something impossible.
I probably should have cancelled the order.
I did not cancel the order.
Yours ’til the Teleportation Muffin Activates,
Ophelia 🌈
Time-Sideways Dragon | Accidental Pilgrim | Collector of Stories & Wisdom & Apparently Cards?
P.S. The order said, “Bring snacks.” Honestly, what was I supposed to do? Ignore it and risk arriving snackless?